Could AA be right for you?

Please note: For what they are worth, these comments represent Debbie’s opinions and perceptions based upon her own experiences and must be understood as such. Thank you…

Photo by Art Bennett, 24 years clean and sober

If you are curious about Alcoholic Anonymous, here is some information.  I have attended hundreds of meetings over the years that I was married to a member of the fellowship.  Prior to meeting him, I had known nothing about the group, so I learned a lot on a fast-track during those years.  In any event, I wanted to provide my informal impressions, in case they are valuable to you.  You can get official info about AA from internet sources, including but not limited to: [https://www.aa.org]

AA is a fellowship of men and women who have a desire to stop drinking.  There are no dues or formal membership rolls, and it is open to anyone. Group meetings take place everywhere in the world and of course, right now most meetings are virtual.  This means that you can attend a meeting 24/7/365 without leaving home.  Go to [https://aa-intergroup.org/oiaa/meetings/] where you can instantly locate a meeting.

Meetings are generally open to anyone whether or not you have a drinking problem, although some meetings are designated closed, meaning that they should be attended only by those who think of themselves as having a drinking problem.

Meetings can take several formats, including:

• speaker meetings, meaning that someone will be giving a speech about their experience, strength and hope regarding their struggle with alcohol.
• discussion meetings, where a subject is chosen, for example, “gratitude,” or “change,” or “forgiveness.” And people offer comments and their thoughts on the subject.
• study meetings, including Big Book or 12-step study, where the AA literature is read and discussed.

There are also meetings which are gender-specific, for the comfort of those who attend.

While there are no fees to participate, most of the time a hat is passed at the end of the meeting and those who wish, or can afford it, put in up to $1.  AA discourages people from putting in more money because they do not want anyone to take ownership of the process.  The money is used to buy such things as coffee for the gatherings. This is a volunteer-run organization and people do not earn a salary for running a meeting.

What can you expect to happen at a meeting?

With very few exceptions meetings will last one hour.  If you hear names of the participants, they will be first names only; no last names are used. The principle of anonymity applies in the meetings and in the group as a whole. No one is allowed to “out” anyone by telling others that they have been seen at a meeting.  It is the choice of any member to decide if, when, how and why they will reveal to another person that they participate.

Most of the time at the beginning or the end of a meeting someone will make general announcements and it could be that a prayer is repeated.  Sometimes the group will stand up and hold hands in a circle. At the end they may say an encouraging phrase such as, “keep coming back.”

Then people may begin to chat or help to fold up the chairs or get another cup of coffee.

It should be noted that it is not necessary for you to speak at a meeting at all. You may remain silent, and if your turn should come around, you can simply say, “I pass.”

Often times there are one or two persons who take it upon themselves to greet newcomers and offer them information or literature about the program.  The point they make is that everyone is welcome and it is not necessary to say anything about who you are, where you come from or why you are there.

Sometimes during a meeting chips are distributed.  It is an interesting process. More about it and sponsors/sponsees in the next blog. …dhc